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When Love & Light is not enough – Demi Moore to divorce Ashton Kutcher

“Sharing Love & Light while in Israel. Asking 4 the energy 2 forge bonds with our similarities & find compromise in our differences.”

Whilst rumors of marriage problems flew around the world, Ashton tweeted the above.

Demi Moore has been shattered by claims her husband Ashton Kutcher slept with 22-year-old blonde Sara Leal on their sixth wedding anniversary. Sara Leal also told the newspapers that Ashton told her he was separated from his wife, who was 2,500 miles away in New York at the time. Other reports said that Kutcher had already moved out in September following Moore’s increasing indulgence in substance abuse.
Ashton and Demi are two of Hollywood’s star tweeters and so their marriage break up has been very public although their tweets to each other somewhat dried up recently. Moore’s sole tweet on Sept. 23, the day before their anniversary, was especially revealing:

“When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. — Epictetus”.

She understands that it is not his fault, she is looking at herself, her behavior, to find the problem and this shows her wisdom. However, it is great to have the philosophy but being able to master the emotions and really apply this in reality is much harder and takes a high consciousness person to do it. When partners look elsewhere for fun, sex and affection, the other one either reacts with anger, hatred and blame for cheating, or they take on the “poor me” victim role, both reactions are negative and damaging and will not help to mend the relationship, they will only cause more long term damage. Demi has had two previous marriages and several significant other relationships so is no stranger to break ups, but it doesn’t stop the pain.

“It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton.” Moore said in statement from her publicist to ABC News.

The choice of words are revealing as she is describing her heart as heavy, which means on the energy level there is a blockage there, negative energy is stuck and if she doesn’t move it will keep causing her to lose her relationships. Until we find a way to correct our behavior, we find that these patterns in relationships will keep repeating themselves.

“I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail.” Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.” 11/17/2011.
Ashton however is not taking the responsibility himself in his “passing the buck” statement. He puts the failure of his marriage down to external factors. It is not his fault, it is just that we are not accustomed to looking at our own patterns as the cause of a break up, we blame our partner, a third party or external circumstances first.
Ashton about issues in their marriage: “We deal with issues before they become arguments. I’ve never tried to change my wife, and she has never tried to change me” Source:
He doesn’t understand that actually it is ourselves that we need to change when a relationship is on the rocks. There doesn’t have to be an “unfortunately” if you really want to make the marriage work but you have to be prepared to take responsibility for your actions, surrender where necessary and look very hard at yourself and really change your negative patterns to get results. That is what relationships are actually about. Not for sex, or company, to make babies or just to feel better about ourselves, they are actually to show us ourselves, our negative patterns in behavior and that is why they are so difficult. It is really hard to see ourselves, especially when we don’t know that that is the purpose, it’s hard to accept.
We understand so little about how to find the right partner and then how to make the marriage work. Most of us choose a partner according to looks, lust, status or social connections, without any real understanding of how their energy will affect us and whether the relationship will damage our health, family or finances or future at all.

“We work together on life everyday and that’s the biggest job that anybody has.”

Ashton, about working with Demi: It is apparent that they are both people committed to self development and that they were trying to find a way to make their relationship work. In partnerships, the energy is always shifting, when one is good the other is not, this is the “yin and yang friction that needs to be balanced and that is not easy without deeper knowledge.

Ashton is currently enjoying fame as the new star of “Two and a Half Men”, and Demi is approaching 50, a vulnerable age for a woman, especially in a world where age, beauty and sex appeal are placed in paramount importance, when her partner is a good 15 years younger the pressure is increased. He is at the age when he wants to prove himself and as men become more successful their egos grow and they will also have more chance of affairs, it’s natural. Women can either, accept this and turn a blind eye so as to protect themselves and maintain the marriage or they can work at keeping him interested by reinventing themselves or developing their own careers, taking some time out, giving their partner some space to develop their career goal and riding it out until their destinies change.

Demi, on marriage:
“The truth is you can have a great marriage, but there are still no guarantees.”

There are no guarantees because most people do not understand that they are not the victims of circumstance and that they actually have a lot more control over the situation than they think. If they were to study their destinies they would have a much clearer picture of what is happening from the energy point of view with them and their relationship and this could help them make a decision in whether the relationship is worth saving and how best to go about it.

Fiona McLoughlin

Editor in chief, founder of clothes design studio Global Gypsy, lifestyle designer and mindfulness expert.

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