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To Be or Not to Be? Experiencing life with self and without self

When we are full of ourselves, how do we behave?

Important, special, judging others, complicated, depressed, sick and old fashioned.  We can ask ourselves, “is this the truth – are we really the best and are we the best we can possibly be?” If we answer honestly, most of us know we can become more than we currently are, we are not stretching ourselves, we are not satisfied with being ourselves.

Being full of ourselves

Means we are not looking outside ourselves, we are simply circulating our own old thoughts and feelings and not allowing anything new and positive to come to us as we believe we are already great. This kind of behavior is what limits us and stops us from developing. That is why in spiritual practices monks and nuns train this “giving up”, not just material comforts but negative behavior, that is the key to inner peace.

How can we do this in our daily life?

To be without self, first we need to see ourselves, then to accept what we see or others show us and to be prepared to change, to give up old negative patterns, to empty our minds and simply not to think.  That means to be open to new positive ideas. In order to achieve this we need to be flexible to allow ourselves to adapt and to be aware of ourselves, to see ourselves and be prepared to give up our old habits and what is comfortable to us.  Of course this is not so easy to do in reality and that is where wisdom comes in, otherwise we just don’t see the point and give up.

More and more of us are trying to learn and practice meditation techniques from the old traditions in India, China and the Far East which help us to become empty and give up our ego, our “old self”, messages, patterns, genes but some of these can take years to master. Most suitable for today’s lifestyle is a simple breathing method to produce deep relaxation with powerful positive message transmission.

What if I loose my mind?

Most of us are suffering from “information overload”, constantly bombarded with facts, figures and news so our brains are tired and become more susceptible to diseases like strokes and Alzheimers. It’s true we need our brains but we need to take care of them too and clean them out and keep them flexible and supplied with plenty of fresh oxygen and blood. In one way we do loose our minds but don’t fear, it’s only all the old stuff that is not longer useful that will clean out through the deep relaxation. To start with there are some simple and effective ways to relax that can be done at home, in  the office, however remember, just like everything it really helps to get the best coach to guide you, that way you will get the best results.

Go over the fears – Brave to let go.

If we don’t choose to “give up self” and develop through our own awareness, then we may find that we are pushed into some kind of desperate situation where life circumstances force us to change. It can look like a very bad happening at the time but the benefits longer term from this can be huge. Looking back we can see things differently and become grateful and accepting for what at first appeared to be very negative.  However as the darkest night becomes the brightest day, things change for the better and when we decide to bravely go forward and “give up self”, we don’t actually loose out, we get everything and we can become free at last. 


Fiona McLoughlin

Editor in chief, founder of clothes design studio Global Gypsy, lifestyle designer and mindfulness expert.

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